wow.. i missed this part of the internet. hmmm. lemme see.. last post was last july?? haha. was i really that busy or was i just too lazy?? haha.. well, anyway.

it's february 21st - ash wednesday as most catholics consider it. not much significance for me, though. i mean, im not really into the sacrificing and fasting stuff. but this year, i might just make it different. my classmates were asking me earlier what i would be sacrificing this lenten season. i said i didnt know, as in i didnt know what there is to sacrifice in my already sad, sad life. and that's when it dawned on me: i'd sacrifice my being cynical for once. haha. pretty hard, believe me. but i'll try. it's worth a try. haha. congratulate me if i do.

~O~

i am once again single. celebrated xmas without a commitment, had new year feeling sorry for myself, and celebrated SADay for the 19th time. again, i admit, i am wallowing in bitterness because this time, again, i have been left behind. gawd. i have to get used to this. haha. it's actually becoming a routine - you find a great person to fall in love with, you have a commitment, you start fighting, you fall in love more, you work it out, he grows tired, he leaves you. my lovelife is such a waste. i am becoming a non-believer already. i even realized lately that i want get pregnant, have my kid/s. but not a husband. why? because i think men just aren't that trustworthy anymore. no use trusting your heart to someone without assurance that he'll take care of that heart and give it much importance as you do his. cynical, i know. but hey REALITY. it's what you call REALITY.

but of course, i miss the feeling of being in love. yet i think, no one's worth that anymore except my family.

~O~

till next time.

whew!

a big whew! why? because i am again here at the 6th floor of our beloved central library, savoring one of the rare moments when i can breathe freely again from all the toxicity that my nursing life is bringing me. hehe.

these past few days, sleep has also become rare for me. four hours of sleep has become decreased to three because of the added work loaded upon us. and tests have become more frequent, as in it has become burdens of everyday and the thing is, it's hard not to study because failure will surely come upon you if you dont study. and so, hard as it is, perseverance and determination are the only ones i have against what we call "katams".

~O~

ethics is one useless subject - a waste of time and units especially if your teacher is as boring as mine. we call her junie (her nickname) - the demented teacher who'll put you into deep slumber if you have no control over your circadian rhythm. ethics was supposedly interesting. unfortunately, as i said, it has become useless because our teacher, although honored with a masters in bioethics, doesn't know how to deliver it in a way that you can learn and at the same time enjoy it. that's why im finding it useless and a waste of time. guh.

anaphy and funda are two of the most interesting and enjoyable subjects i have. ma'm luy and ma'm ignacio are good teachers and although their subjects are hard to teach and learn, they seem to do it effortlessly.

another useless, and not to mention boring, subject is CHN. that's community health nursing in which you are taught of the things you should do in the community services. it's actually like the community development we had back in high school. unfortunately, it has become more boring because all we do all throughout the 3-hr subject is stare at the powerpoint presentation made by sir loa, who honestly, doesn't really know how to make the subject interesting (like junie). another sleeping time for us.

my RLE is great, including my groupmates and clinical instructor - ma'm piodo. yesterday, we were having the return demo for administering injections. carelessness gave me 4 accidental punctures to my left hand alone. i bled a lot - which wasn't surprising but fortunately, i still had the strength to perform the activity with my partner, iver. hehe.

all of my other subjects are so-so. like my english which is taught by one scary, and unpredictable teacher - ma'm amongo. she's pregnant, btw. and she's absent that's why i got the chance to update my blog. haha. micro-para is also so-so because although the teachers give us test every meeting, the topics are well-explained and articulated well.

~O~

lovelife time. haha.

twaw. this name has become familiar to my classmates because he's one special guy for me right now. but there's no relationship yet (not that im rushing) just simple expressions of intentions to have one. haha.

~O~

yesterday, i was really problematic that i shed i few tears. maybe i was just stressed out and really tired. but anyway, thanks to the good hearts, and ears, of my beloved classmates: ellis mah labs and mama efraim for being there for me when i needed company. :)

~O~

the song 'girlfriend'

by kamikazee

is nyc.

really nyc.

:)

almost three weeks in school and i am already very exhausted, physically. my books are just too big for my liking (they're about 3 inches thick, btw) and the "perks" of commuting seem to take their toll on me (not that i mind..haha..guess why!). i usually arrive home by 8 or 9 because of my heavily loaded schedule (my dismissal time is 6pm) and so, my studying and working time are reduced to a painstaking 3-hour span. now, my eyebags are bigger because my maximum sleeping time is 4 hours. my mind refuses to give up but my body is betraying me.

im toxic, extremely toxic. i haven't gotten the rest i need and again, i am physically very exhausted.

yet, i still love nursing.

why so?

because, the reward i get from all the hardships is totally worth it. my course may be quite difficult but hey, spending time with my beloved friends and classmates, and exercising and exhausting my mind to its limits because of all the things that i learn surely makes up for all those.

this sounds emo, i know. but this is just a way of venting out all the exhaustion in my body from all the stress that i've been bombarded with for the last 2 weeks or so of school.

nyahaha.

finally! an update for my blog. hehe. i missed blogging. i missed it because this my only way of venting out my emotions that i don't like the members of this household to see. nyahaha. ;)

anyway, another finally! because i saw xmen 3 yesterday (in mall of asia, which kinda sucked because the tix were for a single screening. damn.). but anyway, it was fun coz i watched it with a friend. hugh jackman was - is - just so HOT!! my God. but again, comments, comments, comments.

subjectively, the movie was really good. hehe. but i think the director (i think it has the same director as superman returns) placed all the characters in the same "level of importance". i mean, no one was acting as the "leader" coz cyclops died (he was killed by "the phoenix" which is believed to be jean grey's alter-ego) and as jean grey termed it, wolverine was already "tamed". professor x also died, through the phoenix's doing, and he asked storm to become his successor. but of course, storm wasn't really the leader material.

i also wondered where the blue, lizard-like guy went (sorry, i just cant remember his name).

the love triangle between iceman, kitty, and rogue was okay. but of course, love triangles are pointless, and in this version, rogue asked to be "cured" of her mutant gene because she isn't able to do what most couples do with her boyfriend.

leech's power is awesome. hehe.

magneto learned his lesson.

unfortunately, angel's character wasn't emphasized but his "presence" was still felt. hehe.

wolverine is really hot. hehe. i just love him. is it just me or is hugh jackman's supernatural character ends up with a dead woman in his arms in the climactic part of the story? yes, he had to kill jean because her powers were already controlling her. so at the end, there were 3 dead main characters: jean, cyclops, and prof x.

all in all, it was really good. i love what they did but it's not something you'd really call spectacular. well, i'd be contented with this version because if it had too much, it would be ambitious. onto the next attraction: superman returns. hehe.

brandon routh does not resemble christopher reeves. and the suit has to change. believe me.

but i will definitely watch my fave superhero's movie. :D

~O~

i saw 9 guys in superman t-shirt yesterday.

nyahaha.

~O~

now i curse you for being so sweet and so kind.

~O~

thank God im finally home. safe and still kicking! nyahaha. well, we just came back from malolos, bulacan. my mom and i went there to visit our relatives. actually, it's the first time that i met some of my relatives in the velasco side here in luzon because most of the time, i see those in the jalasan side. it was more enjoyable than expected, although my cousins, who were mostly older than i, were rather very reserved and quiet. but it still was okay because we drank a few bottles of beer and red wine and 'karaoke-d' until 3am. kuya joel and ate donna were the only ones i got to talk to. and thanks to kuya joel for installing an mp3 player-software in my phone. im still finding out a way on how to transfer my mp3's from the pc to my phone though. and i also have this nth-degree cousin, kuya eric, who looks like uchiyama from gokusen minus the blond hair. nyahaha. unfortunately, i wasn't able to talk to him, kuya louie (the really good-looking one who did nothing but play their ps), and kuya junel (sorry, im not sure of the spelling) because of the reason stated above. anyway, all in all, the overnight stay was okay and enjoyable. ;)

~O~

gackt's 'missing' is touching.

being happy for the one you love because she/he has found her/his happiness...

even if
it's not with you.

awww.

~O~

while we were on our way home, i noticed this 'hang ten' advertisement in balintawak. i think the model's the one who portrayed daniel han's character in the koreanovela 'wonderful life'. if you happen to pass by balintawak, tell me what you think.

~O~

yehey! my eyes are okay now. they're no longer bloodshot and i don't look like a drug addict. nyahaha. yehey!

~O~

isn't it just annoying everytime a nagging voice in your head starts to speak whenever you fail to do something good (at least in societal standards)? just this afternoon, while we were at the bus, there was this guy who was giving out pieces of papers stating that he and his family need your help financially so if you can give whatever amount blah blah. i really didn't know how and what to react immediately because my mom returned the papers as quickly as he gave them. and so, i continued staring at nothing while the nagging voice in my head started its sermon. i don't know if it's called conscience because while it was blabbing of the karma thingies taught during theology, it was also saying excuses on why it wasn't really wrong to not give the man some help. but i just told it to shut up coz i'd rather get sleep (i only slept from 3am to 630am) than listen to its unending blabbing.

was that wrong?

~O~

damn.

i haven't watched X3.

i haven't watched the davinci code.

damn it all.

on the enrolment, i am so going to
watch those movies.

share. :D

~O~

the pbb big four weren't the ones i expected. i think mikee and clare don't belong there. no offense to ateneans and natives of bukidnon but i don't think they've made much impact - a difference in kuya's house. clare's really a TH for me while mikee, i think, just got included in the big four because people want a love triangle between him, kim, and gerald. that's why i don't think they deserve to be there.

apparently, the voting results say otherwise. life.

~O~

i love you baby.
and if it's quite alright, i need you baby,
to warm the lonely night.

isn't it funny how people dwell on their pain without seeing the pain of others? i think as humans, it is an instinct for us to become selfish. it is natural drive for us to shield ourselves from the pains of this world and when we become pained, we are more likely to dwell on our pains without noticing that other people may be as pained as us. in the process, we become unknowingly selfish and inconsiderate. oh well. no use thinking about it anymore. it may not be our fault that we can't immediately see the pain of others. it takes a lot to become selfless in such a short lifetime lived in a selfish world.

~O~

thanks to arashi.

they cheered me up with their rendition of

cant take my eyes off you.

:)