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Sunday, April 09, 2006
the CSI effect.
6:58 AM
today, i cried over CSI. i shed i few tears for this particular episode because it was about forgiveness -- one thing i find hard to do and often takes a back seat when it comes to my personality.
in the episode today, detective jim brass was found to have killed (accidentally) officer bell. in bell's funeral, brass approached bell's wife to apologize. but before he even spoke, bell's wife stopped him and then embraced him. i was touched by this because it's not really easy forgiving the one person who has killed someone dear to you. and hurt you so much in the process.
honestly, i am not a really forgiving person. and i am amazed by those who can easily forgive. maybe because i've always been an overly sensitive person that one false move and my ego can crumble in an instant. and i have this tendency to just forget about the experience. that's why some of my friendships get irreparably destroyed and become more bitter as the wounds tend to rot than heal.
i remember reading in paulo coelho's the zahir that in order for you to heal yourself completely, you must first learn to forgive others' and, most especially, your own shortcomings. it may not be easy but it's the only way in which you can truly accept and go on with life.
and today, i remember, that this was precisely what fr. joel camaya, sdb pointed out to us in our senior year retreat. looking back, this was the way in which i was able to reconcile with my mom and rebuild our detroyed relationship as mother and daughter.
and just now, i realize, this may also be the only way in which i can heal the destroyed relationships in the past. im still on the process of finding a way of doing it but the bottomline is, i must forgive because i can't always be the bitter, immature person who always points out that it's them who can't move on without looking at myself.
that is why, the target for this year: LEARN TO FORGIVE, LEARN, and REMEMBER.
goodluck sken.
~O~
and just to share one of my fave lines in The Zahir:
FREEDOM is not the absence of commitments.
It is the ability to choose - and commit yourself to - what is best for you.
-Narrator
~O~
kasalanan bang mahulog para sa'yo?
1 Comments:
yes, i agree with you...thanks for sharing your insight! God bless you.
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