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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

irreplaceable. 7:54 PM

wow.. i missed this part of the internet. hmmm. lemme see.. last post was last july?? haha. was i really that busy or was i just too lazy?? haha.. well, anyway.

it's february 21st - ash wednesday as most catholics consider it. not much significance for me, though. i mean, im not really into the sacrificing and fasting stuff. but this year, i might just make it different. my classmates were asking me earlier what i would be sacrificing this lenten season. i said i didnt know, as in i didnt know what there is to sacrifice in my already sad, sad life. and that's when it dawned on me: i'd sacrifice my being cynical for once. haha. pretty hard, believe me. but i'll try. it's worth a try. haha. congratulate me if i do.

~O~

i am once again single. celebrated xmas without a commitment, had new year feeling sorry for myself, and celebrated SADay for the 19th time. again, i admit, i am wallowing in bitterness because this time, again, i have been left behind. gawd. i have to get used to this. haha. it's actually becoming a routine - you find a great person to fall in love with, you have a commitment, you start fighting, you fall in love more, you work it out, he grows tired, he leaves you. my lovelife is such a waste. i am becoming a non-believer already. i even realized lately that i want get pregnant, have my kid/s. but not a husband. why? because i think men just aren't that trustworthy anymore. no use trusting your heart to someone without assurance that he'll take care of that heart and give it much importance as you do his. cynical, i know. but hey REALITY. it's what you call REALITY.

but of course, i miss the feeling of being in love. yet i think, no one's worth that anymore except my family.

~O~

till next time.

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